Skip to content

When things happen and you’re not there

It does not matter how educated, mindful or centred you are in life, difficult stuff will still happen and it will hurt. We’re only human and sometimes we simply can’t handle something as gracefully we’d hoped. There are times as a coach when I look back at things that have happened in my life (both recently and a long time ago) and am not super proud of how I handled it. Because much like anyone else on this planet I’m human. I cry over breakups, miss people and struggle with communication from time to time. There are a few key things though that I’ve learnt when it comes to having awareness around what I’m doing so I can correct myself faster.

Because let’s face it. When sh*t hits the fan you’re not going to sit there and meditate. You’re going to react or respond in some way. So what can you do to respond in a way that will be as helpful as possible for you to land on your feet again?

  • Have clear boundaries of what’s ok and not ok. You don’t have to do something or be around someone if you really don’t want to. If you feel in your gut that something is wrong it’s sometimes the ego throwing some emotional tantrums, but most often it’s about trusting that you know what’s the right thing for you to do next.
  • Learn from past experience and choose to make different mistakes next time. You might have heard of the concept ‘failing forward’, it’s true for emotional stuff in life in general as well as business! And just in case you need a further reminder, I can tell you that ‘doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result every time is the definition of insanity‘. I read that somewhere a few years ago, but it’s an important thing to remember when it’s tempting to fall back into your old ways.
  • Stop apologising for the things that don’t matter. If you chose to do, say or be something – stand for that. If you did something genuinely silly, insensitive or even stupid, absolutely apologise, but do it once and really mean it. Let go of the guilt attached to certain life choices and stand for what you chose and what you believe in.
  • Express how you feel. Cry if you need to, talk or don’t talk. There is no rule of thumb how you should behave when sad or upsetting things might be happening half a world away from you.

I choose to believe that we’re constantly learning and evolving to the next level of ourselves and we’ll always be perfectly imperfect and unique as we do this. Because no one is exactly like you. I also choose to believe that the aim is not to have a life free from worries, troubles and challenges, but to become a person who is able to deal with the challenges that will inevitably come up.

PS: If you’re moving overseas now or at some point in the future and feeling a tad emotional or confused about it, you will want to check out my free video prep series here.