When you talk to people about change there seems to be two very different approaches. The people who prefer slow, gradual and considered change. And the ones who just decide and do it now.
The interesting thing about change is not necessarily how we go about it, but what we believe to be true about change before we even start trying to create it.
Let’s say you’re someone who grew up with people telling you that “change is difficult and takes a long time” versus the person growing up in an environment of “you can do anything you set your mind to right now“. You would think these two environments would create a clear line of beliefs around change and possibility in the people coming out of them. Well, not necessarily. What I’ve seen in many of my clients over the past few years is that sometimes the beliefs about change we grew up with is either something we accepted to be true (and now live by) or something we rejected and challenged.
The truth is that there are many different ways to go about change, and no way is necessarily right. What I see more and more in my work with people in transition is that regardless of the fast or slow approach, most people crave certainty. Speed, pace and circumstance has less of an impact than we think. What seems to matter most is certainty on some level. In my experience it seems to come down mostly to:
- Certainty that we can handle it. The most resourceful way of creating change is to believe that you can. No matter how fast or slow you move, you are able to believe that you can deal with it and get the right help on the way.
- Certainty of the steps you need to take. Having some clarity on what you need to to and in what order helps you feel more certain that what you’re doing is worth doing and not too risky.
- Control over what other people will say, do, think and feel. This is a lost cause, but sadly where many people spend most of their time when it comes to managing change. The only thing you can control is what YOU do and think. I think we’ve all been guilty of this at some point during our lives (I know I have!). But it’s not worth it, and if anything it will slow change down even more for you.
- Certainty that it’s going to be worth it. Another big belief impacting change massively and it’s something to accept that you can’t know for sure. One of my old mentors always said it’s better to move ahead and do something at 80% than doing nothing (and keep researching and overthinking) at 100%.
If either of these ring trust for you, congratulations! You’re in great company with all of my clients so far (and myself!). The thing I noticed and that I now work to help expats, as well as non expats realise is that it all boils down to one fundamental belief that make all of the above points unnecessary. Believe that you are worth it! I’ve seen amazing change happen in a matter of minutes and I’ve seen clients gradually build up to a transition for years. Both of these bring tears of joy to my eyes and makes me burst of pride for my clients, because the one thing they all brought was to give it their best effort at their pace.
Sometimes we need people to help speed us up and sometimes we need to slow down and think. For most of us, we need the steps to take us forward at a pace somewhere in between. In my new Transition Trailblazer Program that’s what I’ve created. 6 steps that give results and that work. Contact me today for a free chat about the program to see if you qualify!