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Travels – I don’t know what I want

As we head into a new year people talk a lot about New Years resolutions and goals for the months and year to come. This is when many of my clients come to me and say: ‘I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want’.

If this is what you’re thinking as well, I can assure you that you’re not alone in feeling a bit lost. Most people operate this way and tend to focus more on what they don’t want rather than figuring out what they really do want. In some ways it’s good to know what you don’t want, because you’ve done some trial and error and realised through this journey what’s not right for you. But how then do you decide to take the steps to work out what you want and where (in the world) you’d like to go?

I’m going to share 3 key steps with you and I trust these will be very helpful as you start creating what you want.

  1. The mind can’t think in negatives. Sounds weird maybe, but it’s true. If you feed it with information saying ‘I don’t want to work here‘, all your mind will actually focus on is ‘Work here‘ which is not what you want! That’s why it’s so important to give your mind something else to aim for. Because when you start defining what you want instead, the negative focus immediately goes out the window. Focussing on what you don’t want is actually an effect oriented way of thinking.
  2. You don’t need to know everything to start doing something. If you are not happy with the place you currently live, just start brainstorming thing you’d like to have in the next place you live. You don’t need to identify the city or even  the country! Start asking yourself things such as what type of climate you’d want, if you prefer city, suburb or countryside, if you’d prefer a house with a garden, a townhouse with a small courtyard or an apartment. The moment you start narrowing down the things you want your mind to focus on, you’ve given it a job it can actually process!
  3. Most clients I meet want to change one of three things – their work/career, their relationships or where they live. If you’re feeling stuck on one or all of these areas, just take one are at a time and apply the thinking from point 2. Make a list or a mindmap and start to take small steps towards the things you’d like to see instead. The best way to help the mind to remember the new plan is to make it visual (list or mindmap with images/colours), auditory (a mantra/quote you remind yourself of or even connecting the plan to a certain song) and kinaesthetic (how you’ll feel when your work/home relationship is the way you’d like it to be).

When you’ve started writing down some ideas for what you would like to do/have/be in 2015 and beyond I can recommend to have a look at my e-book Goal Setting Power. This e-book gives you a 5 simple steps to narrow down what you need to do to get what you want.

When you know what you want you can start to change things. Even if it’s vague and not crystal clear right now, just take the first steps to sketch it out and start walking. Don’t be one of all those people who focus on what you don’t want. I truly believe you deserve so much better!