The way we think and feel about things is something we learn very young. The things we should or could be doing is affected by the environment we grow up in AND our unique personality traits. That’s why 2 people from the same upbringing can make something mean very different things and turn out to be very different people.
I meet so many people who feel caged and stuck with the way they live their life and often this applies to both making the decision to go and then manage the expectations after they have decided to go. Sounds a bit odd? Let’s break it down.
Before you make the decision
When we don’t know what we want, we tend to feel stuck. If you have decided on some level that you want to go travelling or live in another country, you can still feel stuck until you’ve actually made the decision that you will go.
It’s important that you choose to take action, big or small, to take you out of this space. Creativity and growth cannot happen in the cage. So decide right now if this is something you want, and start taking small steps towards it. Even if you move might not happen until 2 years from now, make the decision and start planning now, or it’s unlikely it will happen.
After you have decided to go
Once the decision has been made, you have committed to you. Write it down, stay strong and own it!
This is the stage where you’ll start receiving heaps of advise from others, as well as start questioning yourself if this really was a good idea. Remember why you decided to do this and stay true to that decision. When the doubt comes knocking on your door, make sure to tell that inner voice “I’ve got this“.
And when others start giving you advise and/or questioning your decision – feel free to use my mantra to ‘receive everything and decide later‘. Just because someone has an opinon of what you should be doing, does not mean that you have to accept it or use it. That’s right! Because peoples fear and concerns often dictate not only how they live their own life, but also the advise they give other people.
Think of it this way. If someone gives you a knitted sweater as a gift and it’s way too itchy and warm to wear right now, you’d still politely say thank you. Even if it makes no sense and does not feel like a useful gift. But keep it! Because sooner or later it might get cold, and that warm sweater might come in very useful down the track. Much the same goes for advise.
When you feel stuck, remember that no-one else can ever make you feel stuck. You are choosing to feel stuck. So when things feel hard and like your options are limited, force yourself to lift your gaze and see the things that you can change. Even if they are small at the beginning, they are within your influence. This is when change really starts to happen. Because being unhappy with something leaves you with two options. Stay the same and suffer OR take action and find another way that suits you.