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The hole in my heart – I miss them so much

I’m truly passionate about helping expats and travellers shine. No matter where they live or what landed them there. The common thing that holds most expats back from doing just that is feeling torn between the place that used to be their home and the place they now live. And 99% of the time it has very little to do with the place and everything to do with the people.

For the longest time I felt the same until I spoke to an expat friend of mine who said “I’m not just torn, it’s like a hole in my heart. I miss them every single day“. Knowing a lot about mindset and how we can influence our experience with how we think, this really shook me. That’s exactly how I felt! Or rather, that is how I chose to feel.

This got me curious about how we can get out of our own way, make peace with the challenges (distance) that is there and heal that hole full of guilt and other dark stuff. I work individually with clients on this and usually it’s a pretty quick process to refocus and create meaningful connection again, but I also want to share the core of this strategy with you here so that you can start overcoming the potential hole in your expat heart right now. Follow these 4 simple steps and I trust you’ll start to notice things differently.

  1. Guilt is a truly pointless waste of energy. We make choices in life and sometimes it’s hard to accept the consequences of those choices. The most important thing is to realise that you have made a choice where you physically live, but also choose to let go of guilt. It really has no place in your future.
  2. Physical location and amount of love felt are not in any way connected. Some people (both expats and family members far away) seem to think they are in conflict. This is only true if you allow it to be. Sometimes our mind chunks strange things together, so it’s important to call attention to these distortions and bust the connection between them. They don’t belong together at all.
  3. Take responsibility for what you choose to feel. Feelings are not something that just rocks up and take over us. We choose to invite them, dismiss them or strengthen them. Be aware of what you invite in when you think of loved ones at home. You are enough and however you express your love is right for your situation.
  4. Get really creative on how you express your love and care. Do whatever it takes to show or tell them that you truly care. Taking action is key to change our emotional and physical state. A heart full of love for self as well as people near and far has no room for holes. Where and how you focus you energy and attention determines how you’ll feel instantly.

If you know what I’m talking about here, please share this post with anyone you know who needs to hear it right now. If YOU are ready to let go of the guilt and want to move on with your experience, contact me today and let’s help you past whatever blockage you’re experiencing with your move and the relationships around it.