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The daunting idea of starting over

If you’ve ever been in this situation you’ll know what I mean. Wether you moved away or back home again, you may have asked yourself this very thing. Do I have it in me to start over yet again?

When I chat to fellow expats, both friends and clients, this subject keeps coming up. And the interesting thing is that it seems to get harder the older we get. I mean, when I was 19 and headed overseas for the very first time I was open to the entire world and met many friends for life. But somehow it seems that the more times we move, the smaller our circle of trusted friends become.

At the same time, your circle of people has actually expanded, sometimes without you noticing, because at each an every place you’ve lived, you have connected with someone meaningful. Wether you remain lifelong friends or not is a different story.

What can we do then when the fear of starting over gets the better of us? Here are 5 simple truths about starting over:

  1. You can. You might feel completely lost or like you don’t have it in you, but you do. You’ve managed before and you will manage again. As long as…
  2. Your why needs to be very clearly outlined. Your ‘why’ is your engine and inspiration and what will make you pull through on the tough days as well as jump and skip on the good days. Without a ‘why’ thing get much harder than they need to be.
  3. Get your team behind you. Starting over is hard, especially when we have to say goodbye (for now or for a long time) to the people we really care about. If your team is not with you, the question ‘Is it worth it?‘ becomes much harder to answer. But imagine the energy and inspiration you’d experience if you could explain to your crew what this is really about and how your ‘why’ is a very important one. Even if you’re going alone you don’t need to do it all on your own.
  4. Let your hair down and mix it up. Yes, starting over has it’s similarities when you come to a new place (finding your way around, learning where to find things, who to ask and what hobbies/social groups you want to be part of). But it’s also really different. Different culture, people, job opportunities, travel experiences. So get excited and look at what you actually gain by moving on to a new place.
  5. It’s actually not starting over. Possibly the most important truth about it all. Rather than starting from scratch you are building onto everything that is you. The experiences you’ve had, people you have met and decisions you’ve made. You might feel like it’s all the same and that you’re starting over from nothing. You actually have everything with you, and then some!

How do you feel about the idea or action of starting over in a new place? Do you like it or find it challenging? If you’re struggling with this you’ll want to check out our online program, where we go through many of these challenges and what to do about them.